God is not scary nor is He a control freak.

This week Danny Silk was teaching our class. Danny is the Bethel Church staff Family Life Pastor and has an international ministry to families. He uses a lot of multimedia in his presentations. He was showing us a clip of a television commercial. It was a scene of a car slowing descending a gentle green mountain road down a peaceful plush green slope. Then suddenly a really scary face appears on the full width and height of the screen. All 730 of us in class jumped and hollered out. Then when we realized what had been done to us, we started laughing. Danny was showing us what our body and mind do to us when we are afraid. It was very negative. He expressed how we are not at our best when we are surrounded by an environment of fear.

Danny shared with us the profound difference between fear and the awe of God. My friends, some of us have been duped by religious tradition. We have had law preached, pretending to be grace. We have been told that God is out to punish us for our sins. Do you believe in any way that God has, is, or will punish you for your sins? Think about that. It seems that some preachers have forgotten about the change in the covenant. I guess they do not realize that the law was our schoolmaster to point us to Christ, but now we are under a covenant of grace.

Danny talked about how most people use fear and control to manipulate those around them. This is especially true for many men towards their wife and children. This is not how Father God is. He said that perfect love casts out fear. He is perfect love therefore he only casts out fear and has nothing to do with putting fear on you or using any person to do so. The Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but love, power, and a sound mind. Do you think that God is bi-polar? It sure seems that many Pastors and Christians think this is true. To think that God wants any element of fear in your life, just simple is not true.

It is no wonder that Christians think God is the big controller in the sky. Churches give a big list of do's and do nots that we must follow to stay in good standing. Most of these things on that list have nothing to do with God and are nothing more than a form of control. God put two trees in the garden and gave the first man and women a choice. He does not force his opinion on you about who you should marry but He gives you a choice. He does not burn the earth up because of the sin of abortion because he has given us a choice. You could kill your neighbor and it is very unlikely that God will intervene because He gives us a choice. There are times when God will intervene but it has to do with issues that would alter history. I am not saying that we should choose sin but choose from doing God's Word, as it is the right choice. I am just saying we can choose without a bolt of lightning hitting us.

After hearing Danny Silk speak I took my wife out to a nice restaurant and apologized to her for 30+ years of controlling her with my anger or frustrations. That process of change began a year ago as I began to listen to teaching, by Bethel Church's senior leader Bill Johnson, and others in the same stream of Kingdom teaching. For that last 3 years Saundi had wanted to leave Honduras to be with family and our home church. I resisted those changes for all of those years. Saundi suffered a great deal during this time. I justified her suffering by using my holy anger to emphasis "our call" that God had put on our life. She would tearfully explain that she did not feel called. I would tell her with great sternness and elevated conviction that she was called to be my wife and to follow "our" call that God had given us. My friends, I have learned that I could not be any more wrong. Yes, I am called as a missionary to the nations but there are ways of doing that and still fulfill my wife's needs. I do not know how many times I have told people that family comes first and then your ministry. I thought I was doing that. I was not. The Lord has begun to bring understanding to my spirit which I would like to share with you.

So how do I fulfill my call and also meet my wife's needs? I do not know what that looks like yet, so let me backup a bit and share just how I can find out how this looks. I have tried to fulfill the great commission but I have failed to fulfill the great commandment. If love is the answer then how do I love her and others? Well, the answer sounds like it should be to love God first, then love my wife and children, my friends, and then my work or ministry. Maybe you, like me, have believed this half-truth.

You probably know the single commandment that we have. <<>> Yes, you are to love God first of all but who is next? Nope, it is not your neighbor. Maybe read the above verse again as there are three objects listed. This single command is repeated 7 times in the New Testament. I do not know any other command given more times. It says to love yourself second! All the commands of the law were to show you that you could not be good enough without God but at least you had a chance if you could just obey each precept. Now we have a single command, which is impossible to fulfill. This would then make Christianity, as we have know it, impossible to live and completely invalid.

So what is the solution? How can I live a Christian life? God has made it impossible without living out of His presence by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that the letter kills but the Spirit gives life. The answer is in the Father's love. Many of us are at a great disadvantage because our natural Father gave us a distorted view of love. Maybe he was an angry controller that forced submission. Many men have never experienced intimacy with God which means they have never experienced intimacy with their wife either.

The Father's intimate love is available to us the moment we receive the forgiveness of Christ for our sins and we ask Him to receive us into His Kingdom. This is when the Spirit of Christ comes into our heart and causes a new birth. We become a new creation in Christ. We have asked forgiveness and have asked Jesus to be the Lord of our life.

Now the process of enjoying the Father's love was to begin, but in most cases, instead, a lie started. You were given a list of rules instead of an example of the Father's love. You were lied to by religious tradition entering into the culture of “doing for God” to get rewards from your Christian friends and from God. If you mess up then rewards are withdrawn and words of judgment flow from your Christian friends and God is mad at you.

So how do I gain God's favor? How do I get Him to move on my behalf? Maybe if I pray long enough, if I read many chapters in the Bible, if I go out on outreach, witness to everyone at work, help in the soup kitchen, or better yet, go into the ministry. Guess what? None of the above will give the desired cause and effect. You will not gain one micro-bit of favor with God by doing any of the above. In fact you can not possible gain any favor with God by doing anything. You are already his favorite! Let me repeat, you are already His favorite!

The entire purpose of God's plan was to reveal His love to you. If God loves you, then you can love yourself, also! If God, the creator of all, can love you regardless of your shortcomings, then you can also love yourself. He thinks you are awesome so that makes you awesome! He thinks you are his prince or princess, so you are. The Bible says that in His presence there are pleasures, evermore. What, God gives us pleasure? Oh yes my friends, He does. Oh how He does!

I meet my wife’s needs by living in a culture of love. I love Kenton because he is lovable. I am awesome! The love of God has made me that way. God sings love songs to me and I sing them back to Him. Because I am a man of love, that is what I have in my heart to give away. I do not need to use fear to control others, as that would be the opposite of who I am. How could I ever put down my wife or children? If I tried to do so the conflict, between who I am and what I am saying to them, would scream in my ear. The Father's love has caused me to love myself so I can only love them the same. This is the fulfillment of the great commandment. This is the answer to many of our questions. This is the plan of God. Anything that does not flow out of this, just simply will not be part of my life.

God is love. The Father God is an awesome lover of his man (male and female). Adam fell and women was put under his thumb. Christ died and was raised then she became part of his side again. Side by side they walk together in the same love of the Father. They are equal partners in the walk of Faith. One is usually physically stronger but both our strong in Christ.

Ask God to fill you afresh with his Holy Spirit to allow His anointed self-love to fill your being and flow as a river to others. Ask Him to pour out His gifts on you and flood you with His presences.

Oh how I love Jesus and I am in deep awe of Him!