God is not scary nor is He a control freak.

This week Danny Silk was teaching our class. Danny is the Bethel Church staff Family Life Pastor and has an international ministry to families. He uses a lot of multimedia in his presentations. He was showing us a clip of a television commercial. It was a scene of a car slowing descending a gentle green mountain road down a peaceful plush green slope. Then suddenly a really scary face appears on the full width and height of the screen. All 730 of us in class jumped and hollered out. Then when we realized what had been done to us, we started laughing. Danny was showing us what our body and mind do to us when we are afraid. It was very negative. He expressed how we are not at our best when we are surrounded by an environment of fear.

Danny shared with us the profound difference between fear and the awe of God. My friends, some of us have been duped by religious tradition. We have had law preached, pretending to be grace. We have been told that God is out to punish us for our sins. Do you believe in any way that God has, is, or will punish you for your sins? Think about that. It seems that some preachers have forgotten about the change in the covenant. I guess they do not realize that the law was our schoolmaster to point us to Christ, but now we are under a covenant of grace.

Danny talked about how most people use fear and control to manipulate those around them. This is especially true for many men towards their wife and children. This is not how Father God is. He said that perfect love casts out fear. He is perfect love therefore he only casts out fear and has nothing to do with putting fear on you or using any person to do so. The Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but love, power, and a sound mind. Do you think that God is bi-polar? It sure seems that many Pastors and Christians think this is true. To think that God wants any element of fear in your life, just simple is not true.

It is no wonder that Christians think God is the big controller in the sky. Churches give a big list of do's and do nots that we must follow to stay in good standing. Most of these things on that list have nothing to do with God and are nothing more than a form of control. God put two trees in the garden and gave the first man and women a choice. He does not force his opinion on you about who you should marry but He gives you a choice. He does not burn the earth up because of the sin of abortion because he has given us a choice. You could kill your neighbor and it is very unlikely that God will intervene because He gives us a choice. There are times when God will intervene but it has to do with issues that would alter history. I am not saying that we should choose sin but choose from doing God's Word, as it is the right choice. I am just saying we can choose without a bolt of lightning hitting us.

After hearing Danny Silk speak I took my wife out to a nice restaurant and apologized to her for 30+ years of controlling her with my anger or frustrations. That process of change began a year ago as I began to listen to teaching, by Bethel Church's senior leader Bill Johnson, and others in the same stream of Kingdom teaching. For that last 3 years Saundi had wanted to leave Honduras to be with family and our home church. I resisted those changes for all of those years. Saundi suffered a great deal during this time. I justified her suffering by using my holy anger to emphasis "our call" that God had put on our life. She would tearfully explain that she did not feel called. I would tell her with great sternness and elevated conviction that she was called to be my wife and to follow "our" call that God had given us. My friends, I have learned that I could not be any more wrong. Yes, I am called as a missionary to the nations but there are ways of doing that and still fulfill my wife's needs. I do not know how many times I have told people that family comes first and then your ministry. I thought I was doing that. I was not. The Lord has begun to bring understanding to my spirit which I would like to share with you.

So how do I fulfill my call and also meet my wife's needs? I do not know what that looks like yet, so let me backup a bit and share just how I can find out how this looks. I have tried to fulfill the great commission but I have failed to fulfill the great commandment. If love is the answer then how do I love her and others? Well, the answer sounds like it should be to love God first, then love my wife and children, my friends, and then my work or ministry. Maybe you, like me, have believed this half-truth.

You probably know the single commandment that we have. <<>> Yes, you are to love God first of all but who is next? Nope, it is not your neighbor. Maybe read the above verse again as there are three objects listed. This single command is repeated 7 times in the New Testament. I do not know any other command given more times. It says to love yourself second! All the commands of the law were to show you that you could not be good enough without God but at least you had a chance if you could just obey each precept. Now we have a single command, which is impossible to fulfill. This would then make Christianity, as we have know it, impossible to live and completely invalid.

So what is the solution? How can I live a Christian life? God has made it impossible without living out of His presence by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that the letter kills but the Spirit gives life. The answer is in the Father's love. Many of us are at a great disadvantage because our natural Father gave us a distorted view of love. Maybe he was an angry controller that forced submission. Many men have never experienced intimacy with God which means they have never experienced intimacy with their wife either.

The Father's intimate love is available to us the moment we receive the forgiveness of Christ for our sins and we ask Him to receive us into His Kingdom. This is when the Spirit of Christ comes into our heart and causes a new birth. We become a new creation in Christ. We have asked forgiveness and have asked Jesus to be the Lord of our life.

Now the process of enjoying the Father's love was to begin, but in most cases, instead, a lie started. You were given a list of rules instead of an example of the Father's love. You were lied to by religious tradition entering into the culture of “doing for God” to get rewards from your Christian friends and from God. If you mess up then rewards are withdrawn and words of judgment flow from your Christian friends and God is mad at you.

So how do I gain God's favor? How do I get Him to move on my behalf? Maybe if I pray long enough, if I read many chapters in the Bible, if I go out on outreach, witness to everyone at work, help in the soup kitchen, or better yet, go into the ministry. Guess what? None of the above will give the desired cause and effect. You will not gain one micro-bit of favor with God by doing any of the above. In fact you can not possible gain any favor with God by doing anything. You are already his favorite! Let me repeat, you are already His favorite!

The entire purpose of God's plan was to reveal His love to you. If God loves you, then you can love yourself, also! If God, the creator of all, can love you regardless of your shortcomings, then you can also love yourself. He thinks you are awesome so that makes you awesome! He thinks you are his prince or princess, so you are. The Bible says that in His presence there are pleasures, evermore. What, God gives us pleasure? Oh yes my friends, He does. Oh how He does!

I meet my wife’s needs by living in a culture of love. I love Kenton because he is lovable. I am awesome! The love of God has made me that way. God sings love songs to me and I sing them back to Him. Because I am a man of love, that is what I have in my heart to give away. I do not need to use fear to control others, as that would be the opposite of who I am. How could I ever put down my wife or children? If I tried to do so the conflict, between who I am and what I am saying to them, would scream in my ear. The Father's love has caused me to love myself so I can only love them the same. This is the fulfillment of the great commandment. This is the answer to many of our questions. This is the plan of God. Anything that does not flow out of this, just simply will not be part of my life.

God is love. The Father God is an awesome lover of his man (male and female). Adam fell and women was put under his thumb. Christ died and was raised then she became part of his side again. Side by side they walk together in the same love of the Father. They are equal partners in the walk of Faith. One is usually physically stronger but both our strong in Christ.

Ask God to fill you afresh with his Holy Spirit to allow His anointed self-love to fill your being and flow as a river to others. Ask Him to pour out His gifts on you and flood you with His presences.

Oh how I love Jesus and I am in deep awe of Him!

A US Coast Guard boatsman mate beat me up!

Many of you have heard my testimony of growing up with a violent and abusive (in every way) father. My 3 sisters and I experienced a very dark childhood until my father was killed in a car wreck when I was fourteen. Our grandparents took custody of us and provide a safe haven for a few years. During these years I was very angry and fancied myself in the marshal arts although I never really had official training. In order to eat I would steal lunches from my classmates. I would often be in school yard and after school fights. We were on welfare most of the time up to when our grandparents took custody of us. I will spare most of the details.

I entered into the US Coast Guard Reserves at 17 years old an angry and confused young man. After graduating from High School I went into active duty service in the USCG. I remember one day at the base club drinking a considerable amount of draft beer. I was bragging about my marshal arts ability when a Boatsman Mate 3rd Class Petty Officer told me he would fight me. He was a big guy that worked on a buoy tender pulling buoys out of the ocean for repair. We faced off and I grabbed his shirt to throw him with a Karate move. I tore all the buttons off his shirt but he did not move! Now he was really mad! I punched but nothing landed. He then turned me into a punching bag. I went down and he advised me that I owed him a new shirt. I paid and that was the very last fight I was in. Although it would be 2 more years before I received Christ I also quit drinking.

We live in a world of control. The strong win. We exalt the great athletic by paying him/her millions of dollars per year. The tall handsome man or sexy women wins the job interview. The smooth talking salesman wins the deal. Sex is exalted to sell products in almost every commercial. Politicians lie to convince us to vote for them so they can take office and decide what we believe by voting based on what they believe. Christians are made to look like fools in secular media.

I believe that religion may have the biggest control issue of all. Most denominational churches have a certain list of values (rules) that you must follow to be part of them. If you believe something outside of their belief system then you are out. In some groups if you go to a movie or a dance you are out. Then there are the non-denominational churches which have their own control issues. The Pastor has a huge gatherings of followers. They will protect their own right not to be a denomination by their own set of rules to follow in the name of being free. If someone disagrees with their list of allowed freedoms then they are out of the freedom club. I am sure you can make your own extensive list of times when you were controlled by someones religious beliefs. I am not saying that there should not be standards but at least we should make those standards based on the grace taught by the Bible. Grace has a built in ability to accomplish what it requires but the law does not.

Here at "Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry" one of our core values is empowerment instead of control. We are learning that the purpose of ministry is to empower. If we are resolving a conflict and the parties do not leave empowered then the goal has not been reached. The conflict may have been solved but it is likely that a new conflict will arise based on the same issue. If you correct someone without empowering them they will not overcome. Any change is only based on control and the inconvenience it would cause them to not submit. When you teach someone to drive and they are always in the passengers seat then they will never learn how to drive. They will know the theory but will not be able to safely put it into practice. We must give them the tools they need to know how to drive and then let them get behind the steering wheel. If you have done a good job empowering then they will have a really good chance of success. If they mess up you are there to help. Later you can sit back, watch your favorite football team, while they run to the store to get some more chips and Pepsi.

This will work at all levels of life. Look at the life of Christ. He always empowered his disciples. This is the message of grace. This grace empowers us to overcome sin. He empowers us to love. If Christian were to begin this Kingdom lifestyle then they would silence their critics. Build a church based on acceptance that empowers people to be more than they thought possible.

Pray over your children and ask... how can I empower them? Where am I trying to control them? Of course the age of your children will dictate the amount of empowerment you can give. You probably should not send your 3 years old out after chips and Pepsi with the family car. I just finished one of our assigned books by Kris Vallotton, "Purity, The New Moral Revolution". This book would empower your teenager to live a pure life and give the most precious gift of virginity to their spouse on their wedding day. Even if they have already messed up then restoration can take place and they can still provide this precious gift on their wedding day.

If you are an employer or supervisor then you can stop controlling and start empowering. Be warned though you will get promotions and be voted boss of the year. This may be more fame than you are ready to handle. Go into business to empower others. Give them the ability to make a living for their family and smile when they come home each night.

Empowerment instead of control is a core value that the body of Christ is starving to learn. Can you image a Christianity that gives honor to people while empowering them to be the best that they can be? How can you empower someone today? One idea is to start listening to them and look for opportunities to bless, honor, and empower them. Maybe you need to increase your tool set to be able to empower others. When a problem arises ask yourself how you can honor and empower in this situation. When doing life always look for an opportunity to empower others.